I Am Already There

I co-led a workshop with my coach buddy Maggie.

The workshop was based on Erickson's VBSI (Vision-Based Self-Image) method. The process is to choose a state or quality you want to become, then experience and observe what that state or quality is like, imprint it in your mind, and bring that into your current life. The state I chose was "a confident coach."

When practicing with a classmate, my topic was how to become a successful coach. He asked me, "Suppose you are a god-level coach (not even master level 😂), and you can pick clients as picking apples from a tree. What do you need to do to get there?" I said, "I need more confidence: confidence that clients will always gain something from talking with me, and confidence that even when facing very complex situations, even if I can't help the client, I won't cause any harm."

That became my goal for the workshop.

Thirty people joined. Everyone shared the state they wanted to reach. H said she wanted to "create more income." K said, "The state I want is 'flow.'" X said, "I don't yet know what state I want to reach." There were also experienced coaches Anne and Hong sharing their experiences. Everyone was so real and so lovely.

During VBSI, I tried to visualize a "confident coach." Unexpectedly, what I saw was myself in that moment: sitting in front of the computer, listening to everyone, with full attention and a sense of reverence. I knew that behind the few words they shared were their own vast inner worlds, and I also knew that my role at that moment was to listen, to respect, and to trust in their own strength.

The day before, I had been thinking about what a coach's career path looks like: starting with one client at a time, then, if things go well, teaching classes and organizing workshops, and if things go even better, maybe having dozens of people attend.

During the workshop, I was already there: hosting as a coach, with dozens of participants. The parcipants were all people with vision and drive, the very best clients.

The place I was striving to reach as a coach, wasn't I already standing there?

Then J appeared as a surprise and shared her recent leap in growth. She used to be the head of my previous group, and we had been in the same group for about a year and a half. Listening to her was deeply moving and empowering. That group was also an important reason why I decided to learn coaching. Back then, when I saw everyone's struggles, I felt that sharing my own experiences and methods didn't really help, because everyone has their own path to walk. I wanted to know how I could better support them.

Although J's growth was not the result of my coaching, she reminded me of my original intention. I didn't learn coaching in order to become a coach; I learned coaching so that I could support the people around me in the most effective way when needed. Although I've only studied the "techniques" of coaching for a couple of years, I've been accumulating the knowledge and experience of self-growth for over a decade. Coaching simply turns inner accumulation into support for others, and I can be confident.